Well, it shows the ego is still very much front and center at moments like this when it is hard enough to see a little grainy picture which supposedly represents ones self.. and now it's time to write something ABOUT ones self! Hmm. Well, as one of my ACIM teachers used to tell me, we can say about someone, "He's a really good guy...", or, we can say, "He's a holy eternal manifestation of the Son of God. Now, SOMEONE'S getting dissed real bad!!" LOL! So, we'll just tell you a couple of basics, just in case you're wondering who the heck we are (other than holy eternal manifestations of the Son of God!). ;-)
We are Amy Barrington and Ed Ham. We have been married for 23 years. Yes, the different last names are confusing -- just ask our daughter who got stuck with a hyphenated last name as a last-minute delivery room decision! We're both born and bred Carolinians, but we lived in Denver for a year right out of college and loved it.
Ed works as a software engineer, and I left the day job scene four years ago after having worked in healthcare administration and pharmaceutical clinical trials. Very occasionally, I still feel that ego "need" arise which tries to whisper in my ear, "Don't you know that to be productive and valued, you have to go "out there", work, and earn a pay check?? What about that MHA you got?? Why aren't you using it??".. But, it doesn't take very long at all before I realize that certainly is NOT J's Voice speaking to me that way! Clearly, there is a difference. In fact, it is J Guiding me to other endeavors now which have nothing to do with worldly endeavors and money. There is certainly nothing wrong with those things when seen through HS eyes and utilized as the backdrop for miracle! Ed uses his workplace as a setting, a stage, upon which he hears and answers the call for interaction and miracle every day. However, that simply is not where I have been Guided at this time.
We were first introduced to Course concepts through Fred Rogers and Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. Seriously. I believe the message taught by Mister Rogers is about as true to Course as it gets... It is all about acceptance "just the way you are", love and forgiveness of one's "neighbor", and the recognition that "it's such a good feeling to know you're alive, it's such a happy feeling, you're growing inside, and when you wake up ready to say, I think I'll make a snappy new day!..." ("It's Such A Good Feeling", by Fred M. Rogers) Well, that could be ACIM's theme song. : ) I picked back up again with my ACIM education by listening to John Denver's music starting in the 4th grade and continuing still.. (John was an ACIM student, which I didn't know until after his body passed.) We both learned some ACIM truths in Steely Dan, Sting, Billy Joel, and many others, but again, we certainly didn't recognize that was what was happening!
In the late 1980's, we both jumped on board the New Age path a bit, somewhat intrigued by the ideas of "going within", inner listening, intuition, and so forth. It resonated with a clarity that sprang forth, clear and distinct from anything we had experienced in our traditional church environments, which, by the way, had beckoned us in a limited way. However, it was 2003, when we discovered the Unity Church of the Triangle in Raleigh, NC, when we feel we made the rather dramatic turn toward Home in our awareness. In the fall of 2004, Neusom Holmes, the minister, sponsored a church-wide book study on Gary Renard's "Disappearance of the Universe" , which Ed and I both read. This was our first exposure to the Course in any direct way. We bought ACIMs, and soon after, Ed attended David Beaver's study group, which happens to meet at the Unity Church of the Triangle, and Ed convinced me to attend with him a few weeks later.
I did attend and was highly intrigued by the discussions, but it was a couple of years later before I really explored the book in depth. Sometimes our egos really fight HARD! Ed likes to tell the story about how my ACIM book "served" as a door stop to our bedroom door for over a year before I started really reading it! Horrors! LOL! I can almost see the gentle P-face :-P on J's face, day after day, along with the light sigh, as he looked in on me, ACIM book on the floor propping my door open, so the cats could come and go, you know! Well, hey, maybe that qualified as miracle?? Hmmmm.
So, here we are, after having found what we are so passionate about in ACIM, just wanting to share with you and hear from you! For us, it's become a "knowing". We have found our Answer and feel no need to search any longer. Before ACIM, we felt we were on a path of lots of "searching". Now it's almost hard to remember what that felt like, but I do know we were searching. Now, we're not searching. We know what to do.. It's just a matter of vigilance to NOT do! Active surrender ... All that time, we were looking for something out there to fix us, fix the world.. While healing of the mind IS desperately needed, WE cannot do it alone, and nothing out there can do it. The Answer is so gentle, and yet it is SO powerful. It feels wonderful to no longer be searching for it! -Amy
